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Five Signs He's Not Ready to Commit...

Five Signs He's Not Ready to Commit

Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru

If you want to know whether a man is ready for commitment, it's probably best not to rely solely on what he says. For most men, saying what they believe a woman wants to hear comes fairly easily. So if you want to know whether a guy is ready to settle down, you need to move beyond the words he uses and look at his actions, as these usually speak a lot louder. The following are five ways in which a guy will give himself away as being someone who doesn't intend staying around for the long haul.

1. You don't feature in his future plans

When a man talks about the future, if the words "I" and "me" are mentioned more than the words "us" and "we," then it's unlikely that he's envisioning a future that includes you. When a man is serious about a woman, he not only factors her into his plans, but also wants to discuss those plans with her. If you put a guy on the spot and ask him if he sees a future that includes you, he could very well answer yes. However, engage him in conversation about his true hopes and desires and see whether he tells you that none of them matter if he can't share them with you.

2. He doesn't introduce you to his family and friends

A guy who isn't serious about committing to a woman won't see the point in introducing her to his family and friends. He knows that any woman he introduces to his family isn't going to be forgotten quickly. He won't want to run the risk of having to fend off his mother's enquiries about you when you're way back in his past. Likewise, should he introduce you to his friends, they're going to believe that the relationship is serious and as a consequence he may miss out on some exciting invitations.

In a similar vein, if a guy you're dating introduces you as his "friend," this is a sign that he's not ready for a committed relationship with you.

3. He doesn't talk about you to other people

Some guys who are in relationships don't always want others to know. One reason for this could be that a man wants to keep his options open (or appear to be keeping his options open) just in case something better comes along. Another reason is that some men may like the tag of bachelor, believing that this adds a certain degree of mystery to their persona. If you suspect that your guy doesn't talk about you to others, try to wangle an invitation to meet his work colleagues. Should they say something like, "Oh, I didn't even know John had a partner!" when you're introduced to them, you will have your suspicions confirmed.

4. He doesn't tell you about the important events in his life

A man who's committed to a woman will tell her what's happening in his life. Not only will he want to share this sort of information with her, but he'll also want her advice on any choices he may have to make, particularly those affecting his lifestyle, because these in turn will affect how he conducts his relationship with her. A man who withholds these details from his partner usually does so because he doesn't see her as being important enough to share the information with. Perhaps he doesn't respect her enough to want to ask her for her opinion on particular matters, or perhaps he doesn't see how any decisions he makes about the future will impact on her - or on the two of them as a couple.

Discussing important events in this way also enables a couple to grow closer. So if a guy isn't willing to do so, then it's a sure sign that he doesn't want the relationship to develop.

5. He's not prepared to compromise

Compromise is part and parcel of a nurturing and supportive relationship. It's almost impossible for a relationship to grow, never mind flourish, if both parties aren't prepared to compromise. However, some men aren't prepared to make the small sacrifices that compromise sometimes demands. This is usually because they don't believe that the relationship is worth making sacrifices for, meaning that a guy has little respect for his partner or for their relationship as a whole.

For example, a guy's refusing to attend an event that's important to his partner, simply on the grounds that he doesn't want to go, shows a lack of willingness to compromise as well as a lack of regard for his partner. This is a sure sign that he has little interest in making the relationship work and that he's not prepared to commit.

A woman doesn't need to rely solely on what a man says to know whether he's ready to commit. She just needs to remember that a man will always be known by his deeds, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

For more information on Commitment Phobia please visit

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