Healing - Six Steps to Reconciliation
By Greg Hanson
For Mending a Broken Relationship:
Whether you are dealing with a spouse, a friend, or a coworker,
relational conflicts are inevitable. Misunderstandings, words spoken in
anger, and inconsiderate actions can cause damage to relationships.
Sometimes the wrongs are real, and other times they are merely
perceived. Either way, the wounds are genuine.
So when a relationship has been damaged, how can you make it right? Is
reconciliation even possible? If you want to create the best chance for
your broken relationship to be mended, follow this six-step strategy.
1. Take the initiative.
Regardless of who has caused the damage in the relationship, take it
upon yourself to make it right. Whether they have wronged you or you
have wronged them, take the initiative. Do not wait for them to come to
you; you go to them and genuinely strive to make amends.
This can set you on the road toward reconciliation. However, if they
reject your efforts at reconciliation, that is their choice. Their
response is not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to take the
initiative to mend the broken relationship.
2. Refuse to feed the fire.
Bickering and gossiping do nothing to fix a broken relationship. You
will only be feeding the fire and causing more damage. Do not allow a
conflict over a specific issue to evolve into character assassination.
That only drives the wedge deeper.
When you meet to discuss the issue and seek reconciliation, focus on
the issue at hand. Do not lower yourself to attack the person or their
integrity. Such attacks only build barriers and prevent the
relationship from being repaired.
Also, guard your tone and avoid accusations. If you put them on the
defensive you will not be able to work toward a resolution. So instead
of harshly pointing the finger at them, describe your own feelings of
anger, pain, or resentment. Speak in a vulnerable way, and allow them
to ask questions to clarify the situation.
3. Accept responsibility when applicable.
If you have caused the damage to the relationship, admit it. Do not
attempt to deny it, deflect it, or defend it. Take ownership of what
you have done and sincerely apologize.
However, do not accept blame if you are truly innocent. Without become
defensive, you can express your regret that there has been a conflict.
You can apologize if you did not communicate very well and your words
were misunderstood. And you can explain if a perceived wrong was never
your intent. But do not lie by accepting undeserved blame.
4. Make amends.
If you are in the wrong and are able to make reparation, then do it.
This may not always be possible or practical, but do what you can. If
you have damaged their property, repair it or replace it. If you have
harmed their reputation, set the record straight. If owe them a sincere
apology, express it with a thoughtful gift.
5. Breakup Inspirationsfy the cause of the conflict and correct it.
Relational problems are often caused by personality conflicts. If you
have a personality defect which contributed to the conflict, then
recognize it and take steps to improve it. Was the conflict the result
of edginess, irritability or selfishness? Were you rude, moody or
judgmental? Are you prone to jump to conclusions? Do you come across as
arrogant or obnoxious?
If you can Breakup Inspirationsfy traits within yourself which contribute toward
relational conflict, then you can take strides to avoid similar
conflicts in the future.
6. Do it now!
They say time heals all wounds. But that is only true when the wounds
are treated in a timely manner. Otherwise, wounds can become infected
and cause even greater problems. It does not take long for anger to
turn into bitterness, so act quickly.
If you follow these six steps, you will have given your best effort
toward healing a broken relationship. How your efforts are received is
beyond your control. But at least you will have the satisfaction of
doing your best. And in most cases, you will find that the relationship
will heal and become even stronger.
your breakup has its own special circumstances and will you need to
take more action than just the above list covers. For more
advanced tips on getting back together, and repairing or rconciling in
your relationship read these special tricks from Tigress Luv, The
Breakup Guru, (who has been mending broken hearts and fixing broken
relationships for over twenty years) at the Breakup Eraser page by
Our Breakup Advice Articles
our reports on saving your relationship, getting back together, or
recovering from a breakup, narcissists, attraction, nice guys versus
bad boys, infidelity, commitmentphobia, and more
Join our break up support community and post on
Read Tigress Luv's (The Breakup Guru) Breakup
Like Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru, on FaceBook
us at Breakups
Follow our daily
breakup quotes at Breakup Inspirations!
Some Breakup Poems or Find
Sad Love Poems
Tigress Luv's Ending Relationship Quotes
Check out Breakup Songs and Music
Like this page on FaceBook