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Should You Give Your Ex Another Chance ...

Just one More Try: Should You Give Your Ex Another Chance?
By Hayley Hunkin

Your ex-boyfriend wants you back. He has made it clear that he is still interested in a relationship with you. Now the ball is in your court and you have to decide whether to give him another chance or not.

Asking yourself the following questions will make your decision easier.

Has Your Ex Changed?

Your relationship broke up for a reason. If nothing has changed, and he has not dealt with the reason for the break-up, you will end up breaking up again. This just extends the period of heartbreak you will suffer. Has he shown you that he has been working on the issues that caused the break up in the first place?

Can You Forgive The Hurt?

Breaking up hurts both people. In the end of a relationship, there are often arguments and fights, and both parties may say things they do not mean in the heat of the fight. Are you still harbouring these hurts or can you forgive your ex?

Are You Just Lonely?

Often after a relationship breaks up, loneliness takes over. If you want to get back with your ex only because you are lonely without him, the relationship is likely to end again. Once you get back together and loneliness is no longer a factor, the old reasons for breaking up in the first place will just resurface.

Why Do You Love Your Ex?

Think of the reasons why you first fell in love with him. What were the qualities and characteristics that first attracted you to him? Does he still have these qualities, or did he change during the relationship? If he still has the qualities you love, and you can still feel affection and love for him, the relationship has a chance.

Have You Changed?

Sometimes a break up is a catalyst for tremendous personal growth. If you have experienced this, either you can have success in forging a new relationship with your ex, or it could be a big disaster to get back with them.

If you have grown beyond your ex, getting back together will not solve anything. If you have grown and changed in ways that will enable you to be more loving in a relationship, moving forward in a relationship with your ex is possible.

Will The Relationship Be Better This Time?

The answer to this question is the key in deciding whether to get back with your ex or not. If the relationship will return to the old level, it will end in failure as it did the first time. If the relationship is at a stage where you can start fresh and both of you are more willing to change in the future, your relationship could be much stronger this time.

The Decision

Answering these six questions should help you to decide whether you want to pursue a relationship again with your ex, or whether it is better to simply say goodbye and move on with your own life.

Making the decision to move on with your own life can open up many opportunities for romance with someone else. You can learn from the relationship and you will know what characteristics in men you should avoid in the future. You may experience a period of loneliness, but that can be better than going back to a doomed relationship because you will just prolong the pain.

However, if you have both worked through the issues that caused the break up in the first place, you have a real chance to make your relationship work again. Remember you cannot go back and recapture what was in the past, nor should you want to. Do not try to recapture the initial relationship, but build the relationship again. Move in a forward direction, not reverse!

You can enjoy the good parts of the relationship again and work to build a stronger, better relationship together. It is possible that the break up itself was the catalyst for making changes in the right direction and you now have more hope of a bright future together. You may want to consider setting some ground rules this time to ensure the changes last.

Whatever you decide, make sure you feel comfortable with the decision. Relationships are complex and even those closest to you may not fully understand your decision. It is your life and you need to be happy with your decision.


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